Hey baby. My space, or yours?

Good evening, child molesters and shitty high school bands!

We were featured on the front page of MySpace!

MYSPACE!

No, not HEROES. Not Jet! The other thing!

As you can imagine, this is a pretty big deal. Since this happened, we’ve all started wearing sunglasses all the time and naming our children stupid things like Monkeybucket and Monkey: the bucket! I’ve put this on my resume and I’ve already gotten six jobs. And one of them was Steve Jobs!

Anyway, being featured on MySpace means we got a lot of comments from all sorts of people who wouldn’t normally watch our stuff. In fact, over 48 pages of comments! But who has time to read all that?

I do! And the summary is: I am retarded and gay. Check out the best of the best, after the jump.

un LOVED says:
That was EXTRA retarded but in a funny way…

I think the REASON this person is un LOVED is because she has a PROBLEM with inappropriate YELLING.

Frankie says:
lleave him , he is queer

Sound advice, Frankie. What I like about this comment is the sloppiness, as if the comment was so urgent it could not be proof-read. I like to imagine Frankie watching Photobooth in shock and horror as Hana’s character and my character fall in and out of love, and shouting, “No! You’re making a terrible mistake! Can’t you see that man is queer?” When the video ends, he pounds out a message to the masses. “The people must know! Spelling and punctuation be damned!”

justine says:
dumb!!!

I’m sorry you feel that way, Justine.

justine says:
this is funny!!!!!!

I knew you’d come around!

justine says:
cooooool!!!!!!

OKAY, we get it! Shut up already.

– Tolentino – says:
this is soo!!!!!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!

retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!!
retarded!!!
retarded!!!
retarded!!!
retarded

Oh man, – Tolentino -, at the end there, it looks like the exclamation point key on your keyboard stopped working. That sucks for you! In the future, how will you adequately express how retarded things are? Because there is a big difference between “retarded” and “retarded!!!!” In fact, I was feeling so bad at being called “retarded!!!!” so many times, that “retarded” almost seemed like a compliment! Additionally, the exclamation point is the same key as “1”, so now you will have trouble making lists, stating the date October through January, or any day or year with a 1 in it, and describing the appropriate amount of exclamation points necessary to give a sentence emphasis.

Jorge Luis says:
what a retard on a red sweter… fuck him

Jorge, that’s barely English. F!

only bud light 4 me. says:
that is the gayest thing ive ever watched.

I’m not going to comment on only bud light 4 me.’s homophobia, or on his apparent misunderstanding of the field where you’re supposed to write your NAME, because instead I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that the background on his myspace page is the poster for the computer animated movie Ice Age: The Meltdown. Really, only one bud light 4 me? Ice Age? The Meltdown?

Juan says:
sad

When I first read this, I thought Juan was calling our sketch sad which really upset me, until I went to Juan’s myspace page and realized he was from Spain. I now believe that Juan’s English skills aren’t so caliente, and he was trying to tell us that he was sad. Why do I think this? Juan only has one friend. And his name is Tom.

Gavin says:
SO THATS WHERE THAT GUY FROM SEMISONIC WENT LOL COMEDY RATING????? THREE VAGINAS OUT OF FIVE. TIGHTEN IT UP A BIT OKAY ???????!!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY GAVIN I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anthony says:
dee dee dee retarted stupid

Whoa, Anthony wrote us a song. That’s awesome. Unfortunately, he neglected to post any sheet music, or even a chord progression. However, after noodling around on the internet for a while, I was able to uncover this mp3.

JoRdAn!?! says:
Gayer then my gay bro
who jus made out wit the fag in the video

You are a totally a poet, and you didn’t even know it!

And finally, my favorite myspace comment on Photobooth:

Rico D. aka Slyveezy says:
YALL STUPID!!

’nuff said.

31 Comments on “Hey baby. My space, or yours?”

  1. Adam (TN) Says:

    Raphael ‘Raizin’ Bob-Waksberg, I love you. I knew this myspace thing wasn’t going to be much good. At least you got Steve Jobs though. I hear he plays hard to get.
    Hopefully there were some more positive comments that weren’t good for making fun, or recording little jingles that will now ring through my head as I try to get to sleep.

    P.S. You have way too damn much free time.

  2. Gabe Says:

    Ahhh, that was classic.

  3. CodeDaemon Says:

    Oh I do love your comment summaries, RBW. You always manage to measure the general overall average feeling that people have, and then express it in such a clear way. Alas I think the ‘people’ you talked about were most likely aged between 10->15 and simply just don’t get the OE sense of humor and also think it is super-fun-happy-slide (my term for ‘WaY CoOl dUdE!’) to remark about every video they find that does not involve a old lady slipping on ice with such highly intelligent comments. If I was you I would set Stephan Colbert on them, and put them ‘On Notice’.

    P.S. I saw that the mp3 was longer than the ditty, and like the fool I am I waited until the end to see if there was a hidden message, but nope there wasn’t.

  4. sarah hayley Says:

    Well, you can always find comfort in that your true fans think you’re retarded with correct spelling and punctuation. Fantastic song, by the way.

    Ben, Lindsay and I are all about stickering and repping you guys in whatever ways we aren’t already, just give us the word. (No tattoos. Maybe the wash-off kind.)

  5. Kileigh Says:

    I am completely putting that song on a cd two-hundred and twenty eight times and listening to it forever.

    It’s very hard to not laugh at the responses. You got me basically kicked out of the library. Thanks a ton, I hope you’re proud of yourself, you OMGGAYDUDEE!!!111ONE!!!!

  6. Zarkov Atreas Says:

    What can you expect from MySpace? Some of those comments could have been from child molestors. You never know. Besides, I think its pretty safe to say that child molestors have pretty distorted veiws on life, not to mention internet sketch comedy.

    P.S. Are you getting moontang from Steve Jobs? or is he jerky?

  7. Sigma Says:

    I, too, hoped to find a hidden message at the end of the mp3, but was sadly mistaken.

  8. kevin Says:

    raizin i’m gonna make you a shirt that says “dee dee dee retarded stupid” with little muscial notes. by the way, whenever someone says you have too much free time, take it as a compliment. it’s people like us that do the crap nobody else has time for. like reading comments, thinking of a good response that makes them look stupid, responding, writing a song, singing it, and posting it in a blog.

  9. liz Says:

    i love you guys,
    just for your completely emphasis on sarcasm. and pointing out what makes people suck in general.
    i salute you

  10. becky Says:

    HAHAHAHAhahahHA
    raizin i told you my driving teacher made me drive by steve jobs’s house about 7 times. he lives on the same block as steve young. i wonder if they go jogging together. next time we are both in p.a. we can go do some kidnapping.

  11. Suki Says:

    Ahaha, yes. I do love your comment critiques. They pretty much made me laugh really really hard. Or, if any of those idiotic comment-rampant posters are reading, I best put it in terms they can understand.

    LOL SO LYEK UR TING M@D3 MEE LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!””?>

  12. Sophie Says:

    here is my myspace comment to you.

    hdkjhfajkvnfvasOLLOlololOLOlL. YOU guys ARE liek SO totalllly dInOxCoRelol.

    OKAY BACK TO WORK.

    oe, you’re better when you’re underground. think if the whole world went around going

    me: I love you.
    friend: I love juice!!

    then something would blow up and picasso would rise from the dead.

    its better when nobody knows about it.

    but on the other hand, congrats about the promotion. =D

  13. Annie Says:

    You all are basically amazing. I love your stuff. I love how you mock the people who don’t love it almost equally as much as I love it, yet always just slightly less. Keep up the hilarious sketches. I wish I could see OE live, but alas, I live in Oregon. stupid west coast.

  14. Anna Says:

    You’re my hero.
    I think I’m going to make a shrine.

    I’ll get started on that in the morning.
    Maybe this weekend.

    Actually…
    Is it necessary you have a shrine?

    How about your page in my favorites folder?
    I mean, doesn’t that just scream, “OMGZZZ! SUPASPESHUL!”

    Okay.
    A shrine it it is.

  15. Bryy Says:

    I guess this proves that emo’s hate OE.

  16. Zarkov Atreas Says:

    Hey! I know where the P.A. is! Is Job’s House nice?

  17. cap'n steve Says:

    no wonder you are a comedy performer-artist-sketchman(?)!
    man do i love sarcastic, witty retorts. my favorite was the response to juan.
    p.s. yeah i did the same thing, CD because i figured it might be like the BiaH vs R

  18. Hipster Scum Says:

    May I feel responsible for this blog, as two blogs ago I mentioned the epic event of you guys on myspace?

  19. Fabio Says:

    Raizin you are the most wonderful person who ever lived. You are like a comidian and a supergenious and a magician all rolled up into a hilarious supersmart magic burrito.

  20. Stefan Says:

    funny

  21. sarah hayley Says:

    Hipster- actually, someone on the message board beat you to it by 2 hours. Sorry dude.

  22. Adam C. Says:

    My sister and I have agreed…T-Shirts that say
    dee dee dee retarted stupid
    would be the most awesome thing to ever exist on ze planet.

  23. kevin Says:

    except everyone who doesn’t understand would take it in a very bad way. on the other hand, if anyone who read this entry saw someone wearing that shirt, their life would be complete.

  24. Chris Says:

    Dear Raizin,

    At first, I was just going to comment on how rad that song was. But then as I was scrolling down I also realized that I wanted to tell you that I’m at college with one of your sister’s friends. Then as I was typing “Dear Raizin” I realized you probably wouldn’t care, but I wanted to tell you anyway.

    Sincerely,
    Chris

  25. ostrich Says:

    sorry to burst the dee dee dee retarded stupid bubble, but doesn’t anyone here watch carlos mencia ever? “dee dee dee” is the phrase he uses to mean “retarded” or “whoever says or does what i just said or did or described is a retard.” that poster was plagiaristic as well as unprofound.

    p.s. i still like the song
    p.p.s. …and could go for some OE temporary tatoos

  26. kevin Says:

    yeah, which is why people would take the shirts the wrong way. i hate how it’s speeled different than it is pronounced almost as much as i hate that thing in general.

  27. kevin Says:

    yeah, which is why people would take the shirts the wrong way. i hate how it’s spelled different than it is pronounced almost as much as i hate that thing in general.

  28. K Says:

    I didn’t know Borges was on myspace.

  29. Adam C. Says:

    Hmm…I would still like a shirt. I’d wear it to bed at night as not to offend anyone and to lull me to sleep…

  30. imparare Says:

    Interesting comments.. 😀

  31. Summit Says:

    And to think; THEY are our future.

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